Trouble Sleeping

need to wake up in four hours. why can't I sleep?????? Must watch Ep 10 G.O.T.

Crime Passionel

I had three hours sleep last night. I rocked up to work today early and on time but had to wait for 1 hour for the next girl to come in because i had no key and no one decided to fucking tell me about it. I was so pissed off. I'm getting sick. I'm reading this really interesting book, The Greatest Crimes of Passion. It's real well written. I indulge myself in the characters and imagine how I would react in a situation like that. Crimes committed for the sake of love or marriage back in olden day France we're treated with leniency. They called it crime passionel.

'If an outraged husband, shoots his wide's lover he may secure a complete acquittal. The assailant is seen as defending the sanctity of his marriage and the law is prepared to be flexible.

These kind of murders can expect to walk free other wise it is a death penalty. If a woman was found guilty she would rarely be sentenced to death.. and if so the public may protest for you (especally if you appeared to be physcially or mentally weak or attractive) and you can escape the death penalty.

The things they let us get away with back then. How times have changed.

My new books

I love this film clip. Too gangsta.

M.I.A. - Bad Girls

Bad MF

I've gotta three day weekend starting from 14 hours ago because i dont have work til monday. FUCK YEH BUBBLE! is what I would say if I was a 17 year old vietnamese shuffler and ecstasy 'up the ass because I can feel it more' popper. But I'm not, so I'll refrain from these immature ways and continue knitting my lavender scarf as i rock gently in this chair like a crazy person. I had the best three hour nap this evening. I like sleeping during the day while im home alone and the sun is still up. It's peaceful and warm. My sleep was so very deep and well needed, I was dreaming too. I woke up refreshed and ready to party.

i keep putting off cleaning my room. Its not even that dirty i just have piles of clothes on the table and everyday the pile gets two clothes widths higher. its not my fault im indecisive when it comes to choosing what to wear in the mornings. if it were up to me, id go in pajamas or what ever im wearing when i get out of bed. too bad this society expects you to wear pants.

i was watching doco's yesterday about travelling the world. the white guy went to philippines, caught, killed, cooked and ate cat fish, rode on a motorcycle with a bike gang, learnt about the japanese invasion in the philippines in 1942 and how they were liberated by the americans, rides in jeepneys.. if you want to watch the doco, it goes for 52 minutes

http://www.sbs.com.au/documentary/video/2191922786/From-Sydney-To-Tokyo-By-Any-Means-Ep4-The-Philippines

I just wanna be back in the philippines. i was going through the photos i took. i miss the little kiddies i wonder how they're doing. i hope they will grow up fine. i really want to rescue one.

These are the foods I will miss:

Shakey's Pizza and Bukku Pandan Shake!

Not knowing what I'm eating 

Streets Ube Ice Cream

KFC Double Down Burger

Maccas Spaghetti and fried chicken

This fruit whatever it is

San Miguel Beer and fried foods

Chicken Inasal and Lapaz Batchooooyyyy

Chow King Halo Halo

I'm so happy that someone has opened up a Filippino Restaurant near my house. 

Chadz Chickenhaus

Ballarat Road, Braybrook

They even spell 'house' 'haus' like they do in Philippines. With the food, the lanuage, the crowd, the hospitality.. I feel like I've taken a bit of my holiday with me :)

Dried fish and Milk fish 

Chadz Chicken Haus

Halo Halo

Alternatively, these where the foods I was missing when I was in Philippines.

Late night Tasty Toasty Fun City Kebabs

Red Silks

NORMAL SALTY FRIES! So frustrating that I couldn't find salty fries,

everything had some sweet twist to it. I couldn't even find plain bread.

Strike Mexican Pizza

Must try and devour!

Sandwiches and various white people food

Hungry Jacks Whopper Meal

Pho

Apple and mint fresh sheesha

_________________

This guy's using way too much loaded slang words i think he's confusing himself tryna sound cool. You're so not cool.

No Make Up Ponder

Eve

It's christmas eve. I had work at Myer yesterday and I love it when its quite and all the Myer staff stand in around in a large circle the reserves and eat chocolates. It reminded me of the last days of school in primary where there would be nothing but cleaning to do.. then making christmas decorations, colouring in Jesus pictures, making chains from streamers, playing silent ball in the class room, giving out christmas cards...

Last night I slept at 5am which is the first time in about 2-3 months. I found it odd that I heard the birds chirping and a little bit of dawn. I actually miss having a 5am bed time. Everything is so much more peaceful when you're the only one awake, summer weather is perfect nocturnal weather. And I wake up at 12pm when the heat is at its peak... ohh yeah boy.

I did a double shift yesterday. 3-9pm at Myer then 9:30pm-1am at Jwow, it was so dead and I had plans to get drunk. I had about 4 standard drinks of Cointreau lemonade and lime but that shit doesnt work. I may aswell not even drink if I dont get a bus. I was so bored I was making mocktails for fun and being extra extra nice to customers, even did table service .. laying fancy black napkins down as coasters before laying the drinks down.

A customer, who apparently works with Eftpos taught me something. If someone forges your signature paying with your credit card, you dont need to be the one who pays. Why? Even if the signature looks the same, you didnt sign it, you didnt sign the binding contract you have with the banks so the banks will pay for it. If the signatures look nothing alike, then the retailer/hospitality place/whatever will be at fault and will need to pay. But if you lie to the banks, and tell them you didnt sign something you did, and they investigate it and prove that you lied, you are in big shit. You'll get charged with fraud and die in jail.

We closed early and went to Golden Monkey. Then a 3am run to highpoint. I've never been shopping this late and I was surprised at how many people were still up shopping. I thought it was a pretty decent effort, but poor poor employees. I'd kill myself with boredom. I'd be delusional. Vman was getting grumpy because he was tired and he said I was only rubbing salt in his wounds by saying things like 'alllllrrrrright Mr. Grumpy, just because you're all tired and shit'. Haha. He told me not to piss him off. 'AAallllllrrrrriiight, far out'.

I went late night shopping with Dave again. I told him I needed to exchange something because I bought the wrong size. I told him to wait outside of the bra section. So I've gone up a size which amazes me because isnt it when you get older your boobs get smaller? My body is changing and adopting this busy schedule that I've emerged myself in. I'm over my cold, my muscles have grown and I'm physically and mentally stronger. I just need to concentrate on eating the right foods now. I have maccas at least twice a week and last night I had maccas and kfc in one day. My work friends at Myer are impressed.

Hannah: She eats so much maccas and look how tiny she is

Jess: Oh my god, I had a look at your facebook and they were all of like.. meat platters

HAHA!

Dave and I played a game. We had exactly $8 and 20 minutes to buy something for each other, another restriction was it had to start with the first letter of the other person's name, and it had to be useful.

I had the option of buying Dave a dartboard with some darts, dvds, or a multicoloured metallic men's g string except g string started with a G and not a D damnit. I got him a stainless steel mini pedal dustbin.. It wasnt really a dust bin, it was just something I wanted him to have because he's bin is shit. Dave got me a jug, a juice and a jar. Haha! He very quickly wrapped it with the paper he bought and tied it with a yellow fabric ribbon.

Me: How did you cut the ribbon?

Dave: I hooked it around my foot and pulled it.

haha!!

Waiting. Anticipating.

Can't fucking sleep.

Watching this bullshit home shopping on TV.

Nocturnal habits returning.

Cold towel to help the swelling.

Bet you're carefree dreaming.

Dunno what to do to make me better.

I'm alone again.

Full Moon Crazy Loco Time

my stupid bunny rabbit has been chewing on my electrical cords in my room. She started off on my Mac computer cord which shattered me because it was my fucking Mac computer, then started on my heater cord. For some reason she only chews these wires and not my others so I simply elevated these and sprayed some perfume on it hoping to deter her.

Just now I found her nibbling on my powerboard cord, she chewed on it so much that the inner wiring and copper wires are exposed! the copper wires are broken. She couldve electrocuted herself, short circuited the electricity, fucked up my Mac and other appliances that were plugged in the powerboard, and potentially set my house on fire. Stupid stupid rabbit. I need to do something about her.

Argh!!

I worked today. Shoe purchase numero duo. I got the Nasya Stone in size 5, the smallest they come in. My feet are tiny. Hehe. I like having small feet. Tonight for the VIP shopping night, we all had to wear black and red lipstick. There were 12 of us today all in black, red lipstick and matching shoes. We were an army, too bad we werent busy. I left 2 hours before my original finish time. I was putting things through the register today without help. I have unofficially upgraded from seller to register.

I realise people treat you with more respect if you dress nicely, and by nicely I mean corporately. Or even if your hair and make up is nice. They actually smile and make contact with you when you greet them in store. They value your opinion more because they assume you would know best, well, you ARE looking rather smart. I guess its common sense that people will respect you with the same amount that you respect yourself.

Tmrw is my 10 hour shift at my other job. I get to wear all my new clothes yay. Except I didnt buy any shoes to match, since most of the time I wear combat boots and that wont go with nice corporate wear. Unless i set my own trend...

I need to catch the 746am bus tmrw and then the 812am train from St. Albans. I set my alarm for 630am. I always so ambitious when I set my alarm. My alarm does a handy thing of telling me how many hours/minutes it is til the alarm goes off.

'6 hours and 37 minutes'

Fuck yoooooouuu.

No Time These Days

I'm starting to feel the effects of working this full on. I'm getting sick.

Jen Sato doesn't get sick.

Vman is away for the weekend. Off to the playground called Sydney with his playmates. Meanwhile, we're throwing a house party at Helen's on the Saturday night which will continue to Sunday arvo for a BBQ and beers, with a nice little nap in between. See her brothers out of town too. I'm crossing my fingers that I can get Sunday off. I need a day off!!

It's like you don't even have a boyfriend

Seeing helen is back from jwow I can continue my lifestyle of boosing and cockblocking. It's good to have you back. Fridays can be one better now.

Yesterday I bought a new pair of shoes. On wednesday my order comes in and I will purchase another pair. I cant keep track of my shoes. I am secretly proud. Actually, I'm publicly boastful. I make it seem like I dont want to buy the shoes, oh no, 8+ pairs in 9 days, but I love them all.

I bought 3 items of professional wear at Myer today. Weee more clothes to wear. I need to stop spending and start investing if I wanna be a millionare. Why must I splash out on dead end items. I may as well gamble as there is a chance of winning.

Hurricane Stone Chicago Size 6

Cue Dress for Kathy's birthday and a

Black blazer for me

The state of purgatory is torture. I dont like in betweeners or being in between. It's either black or white, yes or no, now or never. Black. Yes. Now. If you can't decide, flip a coin. Let the outcome be. At the moment I am light hearted. I can easily swing either way. Although one way is the better option in terms of the long run. The other option is a now, indulgent moment, thing. My conscious is non-existent and usually has no say on matters of the sort. However, my near future planning instincts are making me aware of the benefits of the previous option. It tells me to 'save myself. Keep your worth'. And you know what, thats a fucking good reason too. No more degrading myself by throwing my body against concrete walls.

My sleeping pattern is officially that of a 'normal' person's. Fall sleepy at 12am wake up nice and early at 8am. Tick Tick Tick. It's kinda good to see the sunshine.

So Glad You Chose Me

Don't look at me like that. I feel self conscious and uncomfortable. I dont want to make eye contact but if I don't then you think I don't know you're looking. I just look at the spot next to you, heads up im looking your way.

Who is this unknown number calling me at 2am?? Hanging up or not saying anything when I answer. This is year 8 shit. I'm working 7 days a week this week. 45 hours. Daylight savings. Yay to less sleep.

Daylight savings confuses the Fuck outa me. I hate it when i have work bc I have nightmares of being one hour late. I checked the internet twice, googled 'what is the time in Melbourne?'. Google is the answer to everything. Work from 12-5pm. Shopping and dumplings w bago kabayan ko then sheesha date at Dave at mine for my weekly hit

______________________

Pang. Pang. Pang. That's the sound of a human organ being stabbed with a knife of rejection. 

Tunes of the moment; Cypress Hill. Picking up where I left off. Back to reality.

It's Quitting Time

Damn this sleeping pattern. I was so tired last night I hit the hay at 9pm but didnt sleep til past 10pm. It's the second night in a row where I have woken up in the middle of the night to take a pee. Usually comfort puts me right back to sleep but that was 1 hour ago and since then I have woken, turned my Art Deco lamp on, drank water, whatsapped and turned on this computer to blog.

I have a head ache. This is the first time in months... oh wait, I take that back, the last time I had a headache was on my first shift at Hightide when I learnt you cannot take more than 10 steps in one direction working within the company. Although this headache, along with my unhappiness, could be due to me sleeping with my hair partially wet. My newly pierced ears dont make sleeping on my sides any easier and sleeping on my back aggravates my headache.

Lately I seems like I've been complaining and whining a lot. I'm usually not that sort of person. In fact, my positivity has gotten me this far at Red Rock. And so what if I complain a lot about this? It fucking sucks.

I have work at a new venue in a few hours, 7 to be exact. I thought I'd turn up to work today and afterwards see Phonda to tell him that I quit. But Im thinking about calling up the duty manager right now, as the duty manager phones are manned 24/7 and tell em I'm quitting right now. Then perhaps tell Phonda later via telephone out of respect for him and the company.

Hi,

My name is Jennifer. I'm new to the company, I've been training for almost 2 weeks but I'm ringing to let you know, I realise this job isnt for me. I have a 10am - 6:30pm training shift at Plonk today so I wont be coming in today or the rest of the week.

I have two other jobs. I've spoken to Phonda about this on a few occasions and he made me realise I can't juggle all three jobs. I want to dedicate my time to the two other jobs I have.

Thanks for the opportunity I met some nice people.

I must gather up enough courage to make this phone call. I am a coward. I keep putting this off. I bet when I make this call my headache will disappear and I will instantly fall asleep as the weight off my chest has been lifted.

Day 3: New Nails, Wound, Stain, Transport

It's only 8:32am (yes I have woken unnaturally early) and already the event of the new and different have occurred.

1. Blue nail polish. This is actually a massive change seeing as I refuse to have anything but white or light silver on my nails. It just looks cleaner and sophisticated. Opening the bathroom cupboard, I instinctively reached for the white nail polish, then stopped when I saw the blue. Okay fuck it. I had a little shock this morning when I woke up. In the dark with this dark colour on, it didnt look like i had any nails!
2. My unnatural awake up time of 7:14am. I got out of bed at 7:52am. Its a glorious 21 degrees today. The sun is out. The sky is blue and in a few hours the clouds will clear. Surely it isnt winter. Bring on a warm spring and an even warmer summer when clothes wont be necessary.

I've got plans today to head into the city. I'm not driving to the station bcoz I'll be drinking. Post office. Bourbon training at Papa Goose, Flinders Lane. Drop off these Nikes to an Ebayer on Franklin Street. Meet up with Phuong, eat at Cafe Vu, Little Collins Street. Cycle around the city and Alexander Gardens with Melbourne City rental bikes. Excite!

My birthday is tomorrow. It's going to be 22 degrees. Let's runamuck

_____________________

It's almost 1 am and I just got home. I have a 2 job interviews tmrw, a 12:30pm with sketchers and a 3pm with Witchery in Crown Casino. I think I will attend the latter. Just like I was decked out in Zara for the Zara interview, I will be decked out in all Witchery. Except perhaps the shoes and of course underwear.

I went on a massive journey today.

Bourbon training and tasting at Papa Goose, Flinders Lane

I ended up getting tipsy half way through the 2 hour training. After it finished, James announced that we were going to a wine tasting at Fed Square. Okay!

Zinc, Federation Square

So here I was in my acid washed jeans, oversized knitted jumper and backpack mingling amongst these wine heads in suits and ties. Again I am out of place. I swish around my wine glass, smell (the way I was taught to at bourbon training - it came in handy), then taste in tiny sips. Pause, and deliver a verdict with adjectives such as 'floral', 'light', 'sweet', 'sharp', 'strong', 'dry'. The portfolio booklet in my hand helped hide my alcohol-blushed face. James said I pulled it off well.

Don Don's

Shit! I spent too much time drinking and giggling i forgot I needed to be somewhere at 5pm! An ebay buyer wants to buy these shoes so I call him up to say I will be late. Oops. I dont know what this guy looks like, all i know is his name, phone number and that he is probably a fobby asian. I stand at Don Don's, he's even later than me!! How will i know its him?? I looked out for lost asians standing around Don Don's and looking at me with questioning faces. I asked one of these randoms:

Me: 'Are you here for shoes??'

Random: 'Sorry?'

Me: 'Are you here for shoooooes??'

Random: 'Ahhh no..'

Ugly ass shoes

Okay so no. Eventually my phone rings, I see a guy infront of me with the phone to his ear. Yep. Him. He had a cute little puppy on his leash that I bent down and pat, so fluffy! This asian fob tried to get away with a $5 discount because I didnt have change for him. Why would you NOT bring the right amount with you?? I told him to follow me to my work and I got change for him.

Fed Square - a 'new' means of transport around Melbourne

Phuong and I utilised our free Melbourne Bike Share Passes courtesy of the State of Design Festival. Riding a bike proved to be challenging as I have not rode a bike in years, literally. I was too scared to ride on the roads, I didnt want to by run over by a truck or screamed at by angry drivers. I rode on the pathway, I would pay a $45 fine! We rode to Alexander Gardens, the NGV International and to the ACCA. I wanted to make a wish in the NGV fountains but I feed most of my coins to the Myki machine. I did have 5c though, I threw it in. That should do it.

The weather was cool but pleasant and the night lights on the trees, buildings and streets were so beautiful. It was really a good feeling to be riding your bike around melbourne. Phuong and I stopped to take photographs here are there. It was our scenic tour of Melbourne on a warm winter's night, and we could go wherever we wanted!

We stopped at a playground, Phuong's newly named 'Bark Park'. We spun each other around the spinning things till we felt we were going to throw up. Phuong fell on the floor and all the bark stuck to her wooly jumper and literally covered her lower back.

'Do I have any bark on me??'

We rode along the South Bank and it was so pretty and peaceful.

Then we got tired and set our minds on some $9 steak with mushroom and chive sauce, chips and salad at Lions Hotel, Melbourne Central. We rode our bikes up Swanston Street and I felt like a celebrity. At the end of the ride, I discovered a cut on my hand, my ring had broken and my calves, thighs, and abs were hurting. Why didnt I stretch?? I also had a new red lipstick stain on my new white jumper, Phuong's kiss mark.

So sad. My ring broke.

Note to self: bike riding is NOT as cruisy as you think it is, its fucking hard work.

5PM Breakfast

Calling all nocturnal people of Melbourne, let's unite so our nights aren't spend home alone! We all need company.

White people food

Tattoo exploration

Tickets to party

3:14am Melbourne Time

Look at all you people awake at this time. It's beautiful.

Enoki

I don't wanna sleep but later I won't wanna get up. My late night snack, second meal of the day since I sleep through most daylight. Two microwaved eggs, two soft boiled eggs, hot water and enoki mushrooms.

Dinner of a poor or lazy man. I was the latter

My Astro Boy cup from 2003. The only cup I drink out of.

Mum's house is a display home. Look how straight the kitchen stools are placed. That's no accident.

Pedantic

6:21am

Wow. A new bed time. It's just getting later and later. Perhaps I'll do a full circle and then I will be normal again :)

Or maybe I will always remain a hardcore non conformist. Rebel that I am.

Telemarketing

Guy on the phone: Hi, I'm from your electricity company. I'm calling you up to help you save money on your bill. As you know they've been a recent increase in rates. Hm, this guy sounds very aussie and down to earth. Usually telemarketers are Indian, talkative and non-negotiable. I better ask him: Me: Oh, is this a telemarketing thing? Guy: .. yeh Me: No thanks, we're not interested Guy: What, your still paying money? Me: I don't take care of the bill Guy: True.. Me: Haha! Thanks anyway bye. Poor things. The jobs they do for money. I hope I will avoid doing shitty jobs for money. I've slept for 12 hours after being awake 32 hours. Yesterdays status:

I woke up on Sunday at 2pm. Its now Monday 4pm. Wow. 26 hours

Sleep so good. I dreamt I made Hwi a chocolate cake. And everyone started eating it before I could give it to him. So I had to muster all the left over slices and present it in a pretty way like nothing happened. It's now 11:45am. Usually I would wake up in 3 hours. But im glad im up. the sun is shinning and its a glorious 27 degree day. I am awake to notice it. Perhaps this is the end of my fucked up sleeping pattern. Or not Today I've gotta meet up kylie in the city. I have to buy phuong a birthday present. And ive got to go to uni for the opening of the Study Tour exhibition. I'm happy to see my friends again :)

Throbbing Feet

I'm so tired! Stayed up til 8:30am this morning, slept til 1:00pm then off to work. 10.5 hour shift. Two people annoyed me today. 2 meals today. 16 hours between meals. Lots of redbull and half a bottle of sloe gin. And i miss my vman because i saw his sook position photos :(

p.s. i hate asian clubbing

5 Hours Sleep, 12 Hours Shift & Humidity Indoors??

Theres something wrong with the cooling at jwow. is there even cooling there?

fuck this i going to conk out.

im way too tired

Too cute to eat

What Cheese made for us

Need for Sleep II

I cant fucking sleep and i have to wake up in 5hours. i wanna eat food. lying on my tummy just makes the grumbling worse. Here's what I ate tday: 3pm: 1 Slice of custard tart 2 Slices of filleted fried fish 1 Glass of milk 11pm: Small bowl of pasta 3 Slices of filleted fried fish 1 Bowl of canned fruit 1 Cup of tea Why am i still FAT

Sleep 2300 to 0300 hrs

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGS

are keeping me awake i just hear a firework go off, probably a left over from NYE. i smile because i know im not the only one here still awake :) i've decided to photograph what I wear from now on, perhaps not everyday, but when i have time. heres what i wore today.

1. Favourite oversized jumper that I also use to sleep in hehe 2. Black Singlet 3. Tie dye leggings 4. Stella McCartney bag 5. Rings on my finger and a ribbon in my braided & bunned hair

Lately, I've been into a craft mood. I like making things that make me smile/proud. Here is what I did this morning:

Made small signage for food: Ciabratta and Dip: Vinegar, Olive Oil, Salt + Garlic

Buttered Ciabratta Bread

Healthy & Light Breakfast: Fried egg, salted cucumber, mushrooms, fresh walnuts and nectarine, bread + dip

Today we went to the Night Market, the Queen Victoria Night Market. It's one of my favourite things in summer. I like the atmosphere and the cookiness of the things that are sold, even if they are the same stores and people and products as every other year. The multicultural foods also get me, except they are so fucking expensive. i spent about $20 on food served in small proportions and the quality can be better. I had a Turkish 'Gozmele' (?) which was a soft quesadilla with chicken, spinach and feta cheese dipped in some kind of sour cream, chives and garlic sauce. SO YUM! but not enough to satisfy me and vman. we pushed through the crowds and i purchased a tiny lamb souvlaki for $10 while vman lined up for a Bratwurst Hot Dog at the German Sausage stand. when he got to the front, they had fun out of bread. There was a discounted price of $2.50 and the sausage was being sold for $5. a plain sausage of medium size sold for $5! A hot dog is not the same without bread. any bread would do. we bumped into a lot of people, including phuong, angela, sharonne, jek and tin and vman's sister + gang. we sat with them and shared their food. i tried the pasta with tomato sauce and spanish paella. and also some of vmans hot dog without bread. it was quite yummy. we also bought this Chocolate and Macadamia fudge. What did it taste like? Fucking Yummy. We bought 1 bar and the kind lady behind the counter halved it for us. I ate mine in an instant. Vman didn't, he had left overs and now I'm gonna eat it tmrw morning :) I bought a couple things, including a ring made of the end of a spoon and a metal hand made and painted jewellery bowl from India. photos to come soon! i love looking at hand made goods from India, South America, Thailand and all over the world. The hand made is definitely more interesting, something that is becoming less common and therefore more treasured! for people like me that is.

Spoon Ring

Indian Handicrafts

there were no camel rides or charleston dance lessons this year. and it probably wasn't as packed as the years before. i was very tempted to get a temporary tattoo as i usually do. then i realised, the money i spent on temporary tattoos in my life time could be a deposit for a real one. no more useless spending.

My Kawawa Vman Complete with Eye Bags He was so tired from work but drove me anyway because I was sooking . He felt sorry for me hehe

We arrived about 7:30pm and it was already packed

100% Organic Hats for Peasants and Witches

Outdoor Seating Area

10:00pm We left at closing time