Anything But My Shoes

I know I said I wouldn't buy anything this week to punish myself for buying so many new things last week but temptation presents itself in way where it is a crime to ignore it. When the opportunity comes you should grab it, don't let it go and never look back. Believe in your intuition! When you're heart urges you to wait to for assistance to have a closer look at the silver cross necklace in the display cabinet, well.. you gotta do what you gotta do.

I havent been op shopping in weeks, months simply because I have no time and these op shops aren't exactly in my way. I have a theory of: if you like it and you cant stop thinking about it, just buy it because chances are you'll still want it tomorrow and you may loose this opportunity. This theory particularly applies to op shopping and shopping overseas because of the low prices and these items tend to be difficult to find again. I'd rather deal with financial loss than material regret.

I'm particularly happy with the black pants I bought which dont look like much in the picture but in real life and worn they are gorgeous. They look and fit like American Apparel Riding Pants. They are made of some swimsuit material and even stitched that way which is strange but the fabric works well especially that they are ultra tight fitting. They are high waisted (what I need) and so very comfortable. I love em. They were $30 which is quite expensive for op shops and I'm not sure how they justified the price. The brand is Nag Wear and they are made in Australia.

My second favourite item is the silver cross necklace. It's simplistic and primitive in style. Phuong says it suits me. The silver is weighty, chunky and not perfectly finished which I like. It sits right at the colour bone, framing the neck and face. It features a toggle closure. the brand stamp says 'Anne Klein' which is strange because I thought Anne Klein is delicate and girly. If this stamp is legitimate, I'm thinking its sterling silver.

I initially thought the gold broche was a random squiggle that represented a thunderbolt. Cool. But when I took it home and flipped it around it resembled a christmas tree. Damnit, I accidentally bought a piece of christmas jewellery. Embarrasssssiinnnnggg. Not really, I'll just flip it over and make it a thunderbolt.

I bought two books: Angela's Ashes and Pride and Prejudice. The later book will teach me how to speak and be a proper lady. I've heard how much of a drainner the book is to read but if its a classic english novel I will power through it.

I got a heavy wooden/mother of pearl hanging decorative plate featuring intricate Islamic pattern work. I resisted the urge to buy more glass wear. I tend to pick up the ones made in England. I love all things that are warm, tribal, primitive, historic, natural... I collect so many house things I cant wait til i get a house and put all these things together!

This week is a new week and I've gotta get serious with my budgeting. I'm gonna write down all my expenses for the day, everything from petrol, bills, food, transportation.. then tally it for the week, minus what I earn. I'll note where I spend too much. I'll divide it by 7 to find out my average daily spend, then aim to reduce it by 25%. I think I spend too much on food because I dont wake up in time to prepare myself properly for the day.

Air Max's Red or Blue?

I was late coming back from break because today I found these babies. It's the first time in over one year since I felt a strong connection with a sneaker. The last 'non-girly- shoe I bought where my Timberlands in London this time last year but you wouldnt describe them as a sneaker. I saw the red from the display window, then wondered inside to find the blue. I was tossing over the red or blue but decided on the blue because the blue is fooking gangsta my blar. I like the subtle differences between the dark blues and the use of the black and white. It's difficult to make navy and black work together as both colours are so similar but this is a successful example of where it does work. Phuong and I agreed that this subtle colour way is 'very Melbourne', team it with a tight black outfit and BAM! respect points given. I'm so lucky I can fit into kids shoes because these babies are $99.

I was so delighted that my sneaker fascination has been ignited once again. I WILL get these I dont care about my budget. hahah. A shame that I wont be wearing these at work coz I'll be pushing my employment at tony bianco. While waiting for my train home at Melbourne Central station I wondered why I am so obsessed with shoes. Why do I love them so much? I began my love letter dedicated to shoes in general...

Why I can't get enough of buying and owning shoes.

I need to collect them. I have deep routed issues relating to collecting things. I need to have them all to be satisfied. It's also the way I organise and categories my collection. Seeing them in my cupboard placed systematically or on my feet looking good makes me happy. And since I've discovered my interest in 'girly' shoes, I need to buy for both collections.

I love it when strangers come up to me and comment on my shoes, even if they are not nice ones, I like that they attract attention. The shoes definitely make the outfit. If you disagree, you obviously don't know where to buy shoes from. Shoes can mean so much more to me than the dress, buy the shoes to match the dress?? Hell no. So many variations, shapes, textures, fitting, heights, the perfect combination of these to match the particular occasion. Some people buy shoes to simply protect their feet, I buy shoes to make my food look good.

I like how shoes tell a story, I love to wear my new shoes in ASAP because new shoes are just bland. I want the creases, the drink spills, the heel scuff, holes, colour fades and the bits falling off. Shoes are meant to be dirty, they are shoes! My shoes grow with me and the marks tell others and remind me of where I've been, what happened.. pretty much how what where when. I remember which shoes I've taken to

• my most recent trip to Philippines and first trip the to the snow (Adidas Missy Elliot's),
• climbed the Sydney Harbour Bridge (Nike Court Forces),
• London/Paris/Dubai and first night at alternative club 'Bang' (Reebok Freestyles and Timberlands),
• African Night at Nyala/Black Pearl Part 2 (Reebok Ventilaters),
• Jwow shoes (Creative Recreation), Year 8 - Year 10 at CRC (Converse Chuck Taylors)

When I don't know what shoes go with an outfit, I wear choose a pair off my 'versatile' list:

• Nike pink/blue/white velcro ones
• Reebok White Freestyles
• Creative Recreations
• Timberlands

It's 12:23am and I have spoken about shoes for too long. Wow. I have a problem.

I love my problem.

Joel froths over my Timberlands whenever I wear em. He finally got himself a pair from America. Size 11. I can fit my feet x3 in the space he has there.

Train station calligraphy.

The bottom one looks chinese?

The results of mine and Phuong's St. Albans dumpling shopping.

I draw on Vman's arm a penis disguised as a smiley face.

So Flossy

What do you do for a living? Oh I feed people unnecessary items to satisfy their hunger for possession. And if they can't decide whether they like the Milly Emerald Suede more than the Milly Sky Chicago, i tell them its okay to buy both.

Gluttony. You can't take these things with you to your grave.

I've started a new book without finishing my jay z book. I have a habit of ditching things when they get boring, tossing it to the side..

like a sex crime victim. Underwear inside out.

Bound with electrical tape.

- Fight Club

I use Michael Tran's business card as a bookmark. I have Scar Tissue by Anthony Keidis, 'the only man who gets hotter with age'. Its real interesting an the book engulfs me on the train. I'm not even one chapter in but already the drug references make me shiver. Im told it will only get worse.

I watched Aladin at James' house for the second time in my life. Aladin taught me "You're only in trouble when you get caught". And then life goes on.

Life always goes on.

Flashing Lights

Having a conversation with a customer at Jwow, I tell him I work 7 days and one night a week.

Ricky: What are you saving for?

Me: An Audi

Ricky: Which one?

Me: An Audi

I dont believe in shooting stars

But I believe in shoes and cars.

You use your King Gee's for working

I use my Timbs for stomping on people

Kangol for the old man in brown

Fight Club

Fight Me.

Worth contemplating:

• Learn more about yourself through self destruction. 'It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything'.
• After fighting, nothing matters. 'Most guys are at fight club becayse of something they're too scared to fight. After a few fights, you're afraid a lot less'.
• 'Getting fired is the best thing that could happen. We'd quit treading water and do something with our lives'
• This is a dog eat dog world. 'We appreciate your contribution to our success'
• Disregard for authority, social hierarchy and people controlled by this and material possessions. We have the power to control history and control the world. 'Remind these guys what kind of power they still have'. 'I see the strongest and smartest men pumping gas and waiting tables'.
• Faced with the threat of death forces us to realise our dreams and the value of tomorrow. Just do it. 'We are all going to die, someday'. 'I'd rather kill you than see you working a shit job'
• Not all about money. 'Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes we don't need. Generations have been working in jobs they hate, just so they can buy what we don't really need'.
• 'Every time you fall asleep, I run off and do something wild, something crazy, something completely out of my mind'
• Fight predictability, order and expectation. 'I am the all-singing all dancing crap of the world'
• Getting bored with your life but dont see how you can change things, only end them. 'I felt trapped. I was too complete. I was too perfect
• Cease trying to make things perfect. 'And your one perfect moment won't last forever'

Themes:

Nihilism, freedom, redemption, rebellion from the social norm, breaking of social class barriers, attack on authority, self destruction, enlightenment, mentality

Way of life:

Self destruction and lack of regard for personal well being/health, fight the 9 to 5, achieve your dreams no excuses, feeling free only happens after you reach rock bottom, every moment and experience is fleeting dont try to prevent or save it.

So?

Get out of here and do your little life

Why I like this book:

• Quick wit, sarcastic, morbid humour
• A full circle story and style of writing, subjects mentioned in chapter twenty relate to something said in chapter one for example
• Concise but sometimes long sentences
• Themes, messages and alternative logics of life
• Quotable lines
• Definite decision making, its either black or white, you do it or you don't, and for the decision you make you do it with 100% certainty
• Disregard for emotions and emotional attachments to material possessions

Thoughts on Train Journey No.7638201837478491

Just woke up in the morning gotta thank god says ice cube.

It's funny how music has an influence on ur thoughts. Just one lyric, no matter how relevant at the time, can trigger a chain of deep and meaningful thoughts. I remember the days wyen music was my life. Piano and guitar where the instruments I played. I almost always preferred classical music over POP. Classical music is forever, POP is a trend. Why would I want to learn something that won't be relevant in 20 years time?

It's so cold. I'm at Keilor plains station waiting for my train into the city for the 8473820380193th time in my 21 years of life. I love it. Public transport, weirdos drunkards and all. Being brought up in the western suburbs has exposed me to dangers of the real world. I learn to talk my way out of the attention of weirdo without sparking aggression from them. an angry face walking down the streets it Footscray is absolutely necessary. crossing the road without suspicion to avoid weirdos is absolutely necessary. I wear a ring on my right middle finger Incase I need to punch someone. or to make a rude finger gesture memorable. these boots are made for stomping. I write this I see a junkie couple breaking the law. teach + the ways of the west. I can take it.

take me away, its a beautiful day.

Phuong brought it to my attention that I have a strong urge to escape. perhaps. perhaps. today I look like Laura croft. Ahh ginifer station. year 8-10 memories and beyond. u remind me of a certain someone. how young and stupid I was. and I still have not learn from my mistakes. I wonder if your still that underweight junkie I knew u would be.

I guess u like being broke, living cheque to cheque.

the fatkids mixtape in ky ear spits out memorable lyrics. I write them as I notice them. now its that jays thinking song. what a name dropper. do u think that's cool? Americans - exaggerate. over the top. dramatic. label orientated materialistic. consuming. wasting. proud. loud. Australians -content. relaxed. casual. questioning authority. I remember when I was selling American express credit cards: Me: American express? Old man: nothing to do with America thanks. I see. train now approaching tottenham station. we are racing the cars on my right and were beating them all. suckers. childish? Child's imagination.

this is how we chill from ninety three til.

I should sit on the first carriage more often. no one jumps on and sits around me. radius of one seat empty . thank you.

Kickin' It Old Skool

No matter how advanced this world is becoming, I loove keeping it old skool. Old skool means meaningful, sentimental. Old skool means appreciating the way things were originally done, and therefore not taking things for granted. Old skool means simple people with simple needs, which equates to a healthier environment not destroyed by our compulsive and disgusting greed for more, more, more! yuck. mum's a perfect example of compulsive and disgusting greed. her hobbies include:

1. Sifting through junkmail and listing down bargains at the local store
2. Driving out to the store, buy all the the things on the list, in every colour please
3. Go home, assess the purchases, call up some people and tell them, then either
4. Go back to the store and return it because the status quo do not approve or
5. Go back to the store to buy papa, anio, ate, tata and everyone else one too

Mum gets me to do her dirty 'return/exhange' work sometimes. At times i accept, other times i reject. She gets me to do her dirty work when she's too embarassed to go back, because she's already been there twice. My mum is everything I do not want to be when I grow old and saggy. Today I had jwow work. 10 hour shift. My eye make up, in particular my eye shadow stayed on for 12 hours. The free eye shadow i got from the Sunshine chemist because my mum discussed superstitious techniques on successful baby making with the Pharmacist. The lovely Israli girl at Da Vinci Mineral Makeup at Watergardens showed me how to apply two colours of eye shadow and make them fade into each other. I'm getting better at it. Today my eye lids were dark and light pink. It was so pretty I might even do it tomorrow. Working with Nai Zi, Helen and Joel today. what a good team we make. they made a make-shift bed on one of the shelves in the storage room - complete with pillow and phone reception. Apparently its comfy. I didnt get any dickheads today. Except for one... I dream of lunging at his neck with my fingernails over the counter til his arteries puncture and squirt. Except that's a fantasy..

and it won't come true. We've never even spoke and your man still love you

sorry, LL Cool J break out. LL Cool J feat. Boyz II Men - Hey Lover I asked Nai Zi to help me list movies that are life changing and sentimental, movies that may affect your outlook on daily life. My shit:

• Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind
• Dead Poet's Society
• Monster
• Little Miss Sunshine
• Basketball Diaries
• Fight Club
• Amelie
• Billion Dollar Baby
• The Diving Bell and Butterfly
• Snatch
• Catch Me If You Can
• 300
• Kingdom Of Heaven
• Lord of the Rings
• Kill Bill
• Pulp Fiction
• Requiem for a Dream
• Rise of the Foot Soldier
• Shawshank Redemption
• Curse of the Golden Flower
• Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon

Lynh and Alyssa turned up at my work today demanding I make them new and yummy drinks. I mixed up the following combinations:

1. Sloe Gin + Lime + Lemonade (favourite)
2. Apricot Brandy + Butterscotch Schnapps + Apple Juice
3. Cherry Brandy + Pomme de Verte + Soda Water (?)
4. Vodka + Lime + Sugar + Soda
5. Amaretto + Lime + Dry Ginger Ale
6. Galliano Vanila + White Rum + Soda Water (?)
7. Vuu Tang Shot

Lynh drank drove us home. A shout out to Lynh who, I discovered today, reads my blog. Your stalking encourages me to write!

I write for you stalkers

Tmrw Ysabella is having her 1st birthday party. I need to be a Caulfield by 1pm. but at the moment I'm so happy, beacause they played Sade - Smooth Operator at Jwow. Btw, I found a new female interest.

Bjork.