2012

Best year ever 2012!

• Travelled: Philippines, Korea, Hong Kong, Taiwan and Macau
• First ever full time job
• Accumulated more shoes in one year than any year before
• Discovered the brand Saxony
• My affectionate cute baby Tinkles came into my life
• managed to keep fuckheads out of my life
• fulfilled my all time dream of getting a tattoo

Wale

Fuck money
Fuck fame
Fuck everything they can take from you


People kill you for your knowledge and wisdom. Ha! What an honour. I'll take that as a compliment thank you very much!

What A Nice Feeling

I could've made that tram if I ran for it. The pressure was there because everyone else did. I might be late for work now. I should care. But then I'd allow my surrounding to control me. No. I wanna be in control. Missing that tram is a form of rebellion. Rebellion against societal expectations and norms. I don't want these factors to control me. Oh look, another tram in two minutes. I can get to work on time without having to run. Coincidentally every thing works out in the end. It's only natural.

Tough Love

Me: I can come to your house and we can get slurpees. We can drink them on your decking Helen: I'll cook you fried rice Me: This is romantic Helen: do you eat spam? How gangsters show affection

It still hurts but it will never show because I'm too proud. I'm not bothered. People fuck up, people piss me off, I grind my teeth in anger and my eyes shoot heated arrows of hatred. I want people to die when shit hits the fan. When sadness strikes, I loose sleep and almost get into car accidents from being deep in thought. I can feel my heart break. Oh god, why?? Hurt. To relieve the pain I dig my nails into the palms of my hands, face and arms so I can feel 'real' pain. Pussy. I'm stronger than that. My mind runs on a hamster wheel trying to fix the way I feel. I want to feel better NOW. The door of my bubble is open and so welcoming. Hello. I step inside.

This too will pass

At the time, the experience seems overwhelming to say the least and things get thrown out of proportion. Although, its never as bad as it seems looking back. After a short while, I can shrug my shoulders, chin up, foxtrot on. Look forward and walk towards the sunshine. If I do the shadows will fall behind me.

You do you and I'll do me

Now run along and do your little life

Shit falls into place the end and if it doesn't I'll get over it. I'll get over it as quickly as I dived into the deep end completely aware of the fact that I do not know how to swim. Haha! How the FUCK did I think I was gonna save myself in a situation like that??? I'm so impulsive and stupid sometimes.

:)

Why I Had A Good Day

• Found an outfit relatively quickly.
• Found a car park at the train station. Trusted my instincts which told me to take the one i saw instead of pushing my luck finding a closer one. Instincts were right again.
• Forgot my Myki card in the pocket of my other jacket. Coincidently had the right amount of coin to purchase a metcard.
• Made my train and it was on time. I was early for work. The arrival of the Queen did not interrupt my transit.
• I was stationed upstairs where I was getting the stock. I got to wear my sneakers to work :) Drank slurpees at work. Get high on the second hand weed smoke that blew in from the vents. Work went by so quick, didnt look at the time all day and was busy all day. I started at 1pm and the next thing I know its 5:30pm.. one more hour to go.
• Go to jwow to see friends and get a free dinner feed :)
• Helen tells me she misses me in a photograph, where she wrote my name big in the sand. She tried to play hard to get and tell me she did it for others but we both knew the truth.
• Take train home and happily read my book all the way home, but didnt miss my stop. This book is so fucking good although Anthony Kiedis is a bit of a cockhead.
• No one followed me to my car or raped me today. Go to see phuong. Cheer up phuong.
• Drank peppermint tea x2
• Working at Myer tmrw, I need a change.
• Made plans for the long weekend, quietly delighted I'm not working or taking my sister to the airport on Tuesday (offered to pay for cab fare bcoz I felt bad on bailing out) which means FUCKING PARTY ON THE MONDAY. House party at Dave the Magicians house in Hiedleberg... Ive never slept at a magicians house before.

Feel Good

Helen, Yao, James, Joel, Dave, Dave my favourite cousin, Marc, Nadya and her Brazilian house mates who ended up staying longer than she did, again.

Medium rare roast gourmet lamb x2 so tender Diego says it tastes like butter. Honey chicken wings marinated for 24 hours. Medium cooked beef marinated Korean style. BBQ sausages. Nadya's potato salad with pickles and lemon marinated apples potato salad. Garden salad.

Grape and mint sheesha over dose. Nadya's first time. I got her addicted. Frangelico on the rocks. When that ran out, it was baileys. Scotch, gin, vokda. Head falls back and laughs are loudl.

Alfresco lunchon. Timber decking and tables. Currency through the speakers. The heat from the sun glares more than it usually does in October. Squinting and head cocking. My skin turns pink on my face and upper arms. White skin burns. In the evening, the sunday sun warms our backs.

'Spandau Ballet 'True' on Sing Star. Playing 'Black Magic Woman' and 'Sunshine of Your Love' on easy mode, Guitar Hero. I sing Top Loader's 'Dancing in the Moonlight' and I bet Joel's score.

Maccas run for a Mcchicken meal with a vanilla milkshake.

This is the life.

Life goals hijacked

An Unexpected Thank You

Props to the Australian public health system.

You made me feel so comfortable.

The purpose of our lives is to work together to create a utopian world for the well being of everyone.

What are you doing to contribute?

Usher - U Don't Have To Call

The experience was not so much painful than it was emotionally challenging. I figured if i can sit through a painful body peircing and enjoy it, surely I can take this. This was for the sake of my health, not beauty.

31 Days of Difference Concluded

I didn't find this challenge difficult, it was more that I had forgotten to do something different. If the day came to the end and I had not done anything different, I looked back on the events and chose something that could be. Lazy? Smart?

Or perhaps just everyday is different no matter what you do and you only realise it upon careful reflection.

I do like the idea of doing something new/different everyday. Four days after the challenge has ended, I still find myself resisting the urge to order the usual drinks and meals at restaurants. When shopping, I took twice at an item I would not normally purchase and think of the positive aspects of it. The point is not if I buy this object just because I normally wouldn't, but of the fact I'm giving something a second chance to impress me. This is me broadening my familiar horizons.

In the past I could go days and sometimes weeks without a post. Reporting daily on this blog has forced me to write more. I like writing more. I think it will make me smarter.

As I didnt find this challenge difficult or a burden, I believe I am a person open to new concepts and experience. I welcome it with open arms and although I'm not always 100% sure of the 'new' I am curious and wanting to know more. I am an explorer. I am a sponge.

It's been a good 31 days.

Things I learnt in the 31 Days of Difference Challenge:

• You don't need money to change something about your day/do something new
• This challenge is better when you do it with others. You get support, motivation and inspiration. You are less likely to forget about the challenge
• Reflecting on your day after forgetting to do something new; often you have accomplished your daily challenge without even knowing. Upon reflection do you notice things you would not have.
• It feels good to have achieved something new and different.
• Most of what I did 'new' for the day involved food. I love to stuff my face.

With The Devil On My Shoulder Telling Me OK GO!

You make me do naughty things. Not so much make, I do them willingly. The ultimate decision is mine. Temptation is a good thing. I like playing with fire, literally and metaphorically. I like seeing how close I can get without burning myself. It's a challenge. A game, a secret, a thrill.. all which leads to an escape from reality. I develop strategies and theories that make me better at it.

My obsession with escapism and fantasy/creating scenario's in my head. I act impulsively, consequences pushed aside. Ignorance is bliss. I want to be ignorant and selfish. I don't believe I'm a bad person however I don't believe I'll get away with it. Playing with people's emotions and fucking up reputations. Even those who love me will find it hard to stick by me. I'll pay for it later, I deserved to be taught a lesson. Everything will crash down on me and I have no one but myself to blame. I'll feel so alone.

But I'll think about that later.

Why everything that's supposed to be bad make me feel so good?

Everything they told me not to is exactly what I would

Man I tried to stop man I tried the best I could

But you make me smile

Never regret anything that made you smile.

Kanye West - Addiction

All of the Lights

Sculling mascato like a sikunt. Cruising down Lyon Street pumping Kanye West like a sikunt. Throwing up the 'west side' at a Myer Melbourne job interview like a sikunt. What what. Running on four hours sleep and hanging with favourite people. Goodnight Melbourne. I love my life right now.