Boobs

J.Cole

Should I admit that a slutty bitch was my first smash?

Hell no.

To get over an object of desire, focus your attention on another object of desire.

But then here we go, around the circle we go. This vicious, emotionally, although more mentally, straining unnecessary repetition of life due to my indecisiveness and lust for possession and control over them. I frustrate myself. I need to be like Joker and just flip a coin when decisions need to be made. Oh the burden of consequences and opportunity costs. Cant I have it all? Can't I abandon my consciousness? Alternatively, can I not feel regret?

I'd be more realistic if I worked in the mind set of the latter. I must look forward, never turn over my shoulder to see who or what is trying to catch me to teach me a lesson. If i run fast enough consequences cannot catch up to me.

Although I dont think it works that way. I'm visualising this far too much. Running away from my problems is how I've always done it. How I despise confrontation. That may make me a coward. I dont want to be that.

If you treat others positively, they will return the favour. A lovely person will attract lovely people, you will be surrounded by pleasant company and positive energy will be bounced off one another. Mirrors. This cycle is forever. No one can get sick of positive energy. That is utopia. Lovely people also bring out the lovely in nasty people. It's difficult to be nasty when someone is being so lovely to you. This person is opening up themselves to be torn down, and they are trusting you, a stranger, to not do that. Will you return the favour and humble yourself?

The devil.

But this time in a new dress.

You didn't recognise it.

Did it trick you?

I feel alone because I have abandoned the people who love me in pursuit of what I want. They said no, but I ignored them. I followed my heart. And now what I want may not even want me back. (And if everything does work out, will I be happy 2 months in?) Throwing myself in the deep end and attacking obstacles head on. They say this is a trait of a Leo?

A-fucking-men

To find out what I want I need to be alone, and when I say alone, I mean no strings attached. or the intention to have my strings attached. My weakness = my tendency to cast my fishing line and draw in the first fish that bites, competent or not.