Bad Start

Can't help but feel a little annoyed. Frustrated. I feel this isn't my fault but there is nothing more they could've done to make it better. Except perhaps, doing what they fucking said they would. Integrity is important to me. A lack of integrity equals a lack of my respect. I'm in bed, I haven't even woken up and already I feel angry. I need to shake this negativity off because if I carry it with me and have a shit day in this shit weather. Sometimes, rarely, I don't know what to do to make myself feel better. lately I've felt I just wanna go home to an empty house and cry my eyes out like a baby. I wanna have a good cry in my pillow under the covers and feel sorry for myself for a couple of hours. lately I've felt that would make me better. except I have no tears to shed. I don't remember the last time I cried or felt like I wanted to. I had a dream last night. I was discussing what movie to watch with Cookie, the ex junkie from RocknRolla. I was also sitting on Carlo's lap thinking, hrm its funny who becomes more important in ur life as time goes by. You meet people and they start off as hi/bye friends but no one knew they would mean so much more. That thought just picked me up a bit, I feel a little happier. Today I'm going to treat everyone (most) with the notion that they could potentially become someone important to me. Okay. Time to get the fuck up.