Approval & The Emptiness Without It

I went home last night to grab more things. Papa's door was closed, he was sleeping. No one else was home. A large empty quite double story house and no one else was home. I feel sad when I think about my dad. I think he's sad and lonely, that he wants to go out and do things but fear of the unknown holds him back. I wish he was happy. I was there for about 30 minutes, I secretly wished I woke up him with my all my racket so I could see him. I havent seen him in almost a month.

Still as I left it

I left a note for him. At first it was only gonna be one line, but I kept adding line. After line. After line. Until there was no more space on the stick-it note. I thought it would be the last time I would speak to him.

10pm. Dearest papa. Jenny was here. Your tomato's are growing big. I water them twice a week. Come visit soon. (Love heart) Jenny (smiley face)

I shut the front door behind me. I drove to vinces house with eyes and face full of tears. Sometimes I just miss my dad. I wish he showed he was proud of me. Or that he loved me. This morning he messaged me while i was in class.

Jen. I found your note. Hope you and ate are doing okay. Tomatos are end of season, dont worry about watering too much. Take care. Papa...

He left a triple dot. Was there more to say? Eyes stared to swell with tears. I felt like running out of the room. But i fought back emotions. Just the way I was brought up.