Fuck Off Moments
- Stuck Up Bitches She said she'd come back when I had finished making her cocktail. But she didn't so I ended up bringing it over. When I did, no eye contact, acknowledgement or thank you. Okay. Her older friend yells out 'EXCUSE ME!' and beckons me with her scrawny finger. I roll my eyes, how rule of this 50 year old. I know you're 50. Or at least you look it. Scrawny fingers: "Does this cracker smell funny?" Me: "I'm not sure. I'll check it against the rest of the packet" Cocktail bitch: "Oh, and can you check the used by date?" The rest of the stuck up bitches crack up in laughter. I roll my eyes, ignored her and walked away. I check the used by date. shit. I was in deep shit. I was acting like a sikunt to these people and I was in the wrong???! Ugh, Jwow why must you embarrass me when I back you up?!? Let down. My pride. I think of how to talk my way out of this. Marc was doing his sweet talk thing. thank god for marc. Marc i love you. Scrawny fingers: "Look at us. We're happy, see??? Ha haa. Ha aaaaa" She had a fake smile on and bobbed her head side to side. They were happy.
- Picky Ey So we're running out of wine glasses. Everyone wants to drink wine. This lady buys a bottle. I give her small wine glasses. Asian lady: Can I have wine glasses? Me: Here Asian lady: I'm not drinking out of these. Me: Why don't you shove em up your loose asshole then. I wish.
- The Indian guy Aaron warned me about him. The puny Indian young guy, drunk and thinking he was 'all that' with the ladies. I walk past them and into the storage room. He and his friends were howling like wolves and wolf whistling. I turn around, they look to the ceiling to avoid eye contact. But that Indian guy keeps looking to see if I'm still looking. Yes, wanker, I am. I give him the finger. The memorable finger gesture I was speaking about in my previous post. There was so much anger in that finger I swear I was gonna snap off my other fingers holding my middle one up. My face was burning. Teeth clenching. I was completely sober. I wanted to fight. Disrespectful wankers. How dare they. He sees. And the group of guys hush hush and whisper quietly. I come out of the storage room. White guy: Sorry about my friend. Don't pay any attention to him Me: I won't
- The White Guy (another white guy) I thought he was cool. He was my friend for the night. Except this time he was staring at me dead straight in the eye. It made me feel uncomfortable. Me: What are you staring at? White guy: (in a drunken trance) Me: Didn't your mum ever tell you its rude to stare? White: (trance) Me: What?? White guy: (reaches over to fondle my cheek) Me: Don't touch me! (angry) White guy: Why are you being mean to me? Me: Coz you're staring at me! White: Don't let my girlfriend hear you speak like that Me: Stop looking at me White: What's wrong with that? Me: I don't want that kinda attention. Look over there (points) White: What? Me: Look over there!! and we're cool! (angry) White: (looks away for .5 seconds) Me: Okay good. We're cool. Break the wrist and walk away. Break the wrist and walk away. He comes up to me after. Apologises. I see sincerity in his eyes. I made me understand that he made me feel awkward and I wasn't gonna feel awkward while i was at work. Okay. We're cool. I was outside with Aaron. White guy comes bolting out, followed by one of his friends and then a very angry and screaming joey. Omg. Apparently white guy threw a glass at the wall and ran off. Apparently he was aiming at a girl. Fucking wanker all along.
- The Asian Guy Oh didnt he think he was so hot. We needed to hit a budget today so I put up with this guy longer than I should've. I just wanted to make money out of him. Me: What do you want? Asian: What do you want? Me: I'm not allowed to drink. I'm a bartender. Asian: Bullshit. You're drunk already. Look! You're red! Me: I am not. I haven't drunk all day Asian: What? So you didnt drink water?? Me: You asked if i was drunk. I said I havent dranken all day. We're obviously talking about alcohol. Asian: Nah so you didn't drink water all day! Me: Okay. What do you want? (a.k.a. just gimme your money) Asian: What do you want? Me: Okay I'm gonna walk over there and when I come back you're gonna tell me what you want Asian: Okay go walk and come back Me: Nah seriously, what do you want? Asian: Nah go walk and come back Me: okay ill walk but I won't come back I walk. And so do they. I hear the guys laughing their doofy laughs, saying "Nahh man, you gotta wait til she comes back to you!" Fucking gooses. Ugh. They bought 20 drinks. We took $160 out of their pockets and absolutely smashed out budget. Now drink ur drinks and fuck off.
- And there was that other incident. x2 I was in a bad mood already.
Good Times
- Hungry Jacks. I love you and hate you. I wolfed down the best and freshest whopper burger that I have ever had from the Melbourne Central Hungry Jacks. I also had large chips. I wolfed it down so fast I felt so sick. But went to get Noodle Kingdom dumplings for the mains :)
- Looking on with glitter in my eyes. There was a new group at jwow last night. A subtley cool group. You know how I love my subtley cool people. Quality plain or quiet patterned button up shirts. Trademark khaki Dickies work pants. Infa red air max 90's. Textured old man hats, not to the back or side, but to the front. Only a small group of people knew they were Kangol. It didn't even have to boast with loud colours or oversized logo. I knew. I quietly acknowledged their style. the only thing that was loud about their style was the New York Yankee vintage baseball jackets they were wearing. Did they see my Timberlands? They were talking about me. They drank Southern comfort, bourbon, scotch and Johnny Walker Black on two cubes of ice. They tipped more than the usual customers. Rich and gangsta? Ulimate hip hop heads. Four dollllars, four dollaaars!! They were outside on Little Lonsdale street. The side walk was packed to the rafters with these subtley cool people. Apparently they were a group of poppers. They were breakdancing in the middle of the road. But not like show off/sikunt gangsters coz they respected the passing traffic. The bootilicious African lady clung on to the Dickies wearing African guy leaning on the back of a car. Passers buy and Strike/Match Bar security were watching on. Admiration? Curiosity? I was watching a film clip. I was feeling this positive and natural vibe. This is Jwow.
- Customer Interaction: Luke He taught me how to make a Gin Martini. Ice in cocktail shaker Olive 1.5 Shots of Larios Gin A very tiny sliver of lemon Shake Noilly Prat Sweet vermouth swished around the insides of the martini glass and *Luke's special and quiet forceful SHAKE of the martini glass* Strain gin into martini glass I shook his hand and give him a discount.
- Customer Interaction: Tam I was trying to sell him shots of Aha Tora Tequila. I let him try the Anjeo and the Resporado but he didnt like it. He was a solid Patron enthusiast. Me: What's wrong with Aha Toro? It sits next to the Patron on the top shelf. Do you know Mailek? Tam: Yeh I know Mailek Me: Mailek loves Aha Toro. He always drinks it. Tam: I don't trust Mailek.. HAHA! He taught me and Cheese the importance of good tequila. He believed tequila should not be served with salt or lemon. It should be drunken straight and it should feel good doing it. He rather pay double the price for top shelf tequila because so matter how much you drink, you will apparently never wake up with a hang over. Tam spoke about having a relationship with alcohol and Patron in particular. Tam: Drinking Patron is like having the best sex in your life. When I see her in the street, I just want it right now, all night. Me: So when I'm trying to sell you Aha Toro... Tam: It's okay, it's nice... I might try it once but never again... When I see that Patron, I just want it. HAHA! I'll always remember him with his story. Tam: I shouldn't have told you!! >.<
- $12 in Tips
- Made our budget = money bags
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