Home Troubles

my last post was made while my family had the biggest fight in Sato history. it all started because I took the car from anio to drive myself to ates. anio, mum and papa came over to fight it out with me and ate was the mediator. i was so angry because it was obvious my parents favoured anio over me. i was yelling so much and papa was getting so pissed at me. mocking and laughing sarcastically at my reasoning. i burst into tears to express my anger. the attention moved to anio and he also got so angry he punched a hole into the wall. punched right through the door and into the wall behind it. it was a fucking massive punch. everyone was so shocked. anio burst into tears. he told my parents how they keep putting him down. he told my mum how he felt when mum told him his body is abnormal, that he looked liek a freak, a criminal, that no one will hire him. he mentioned that every time he tried to do something mum will just tell him he will fail. thats when i came in and backed him up. i reminded mum how she called me hopeless, useless, worthless, good for nothing and how she prefered her work mates kid over me because they studied to be a doctor at uni and i studied design. mum was determined to deny everything she said and that just fucking PISSED me off to the max. ate got involved, reminding mum of the time she told my aunty that ate was 'gaga' (stupid person) for not being maried. ate burst into tears. the more we brought up the past, the more mum denied and denied. everytime she denied i would call out LIAR! LIAR! which she hates

'why would i say that stuff to you? you are my kids?' 'exactly! why would u say that to us?' 'nahh! i never ever said that!' 'why would we make this up? do u think we like to hear this from you?'

fuck you bitch im feeling the anger right now. nothing PISSES me off more than someone who doesnt acknoweldge what theyve done wrong, mum doesnt even acknowledge wat she's said!! it was in her eyes and her heart that she NEVER said these things. she was so adament that we were making this up. mums got some kind of mental disorder. i was so angry that i yelled IM SO FUCKING ANGRY! I JUST WANNA PUNCH YOU! mum shrugged it off and said she didnt care. but this time she said it to the floor. maybe she was effected this time. anio revealed he was gonna move out, he had everything planned and budgeted. thats when my parents started to listen. the fight went for so long, poor papa was becoming confused, upset and less involved as he was at the beginning. papa started weeping, wiping his eyes until he eventually left the room. meanwhile, me and anio were swearing and yelling at my mum. i scream so loud, i cant contain my anger. i take a massive breath then let out the loudest scream until i am out of air. we tell mum her pessimism effects us in the worst ways, how she never approves or congratulates us for the things we accomplish, tells us off for the things we havent accomplished, believes that the only thing to life is the peice of paper that says we graduated from uni. i remember telling her 'the only reason i went to uni is because of you! i wanted to drop out last year but i didnt because of you. ur paying for my hecs fees' she said if we were so effected by all these things, then why didnt we tell her? we mention how difficult it was to talk to her. i reminded her of the time she put me down so much i broke down crying in front of her and if that wasnt enough she came over to hit me several times. no mercy bitch. i told her you're the only one who isn't crying. why is that? its because you have a heart made of cold stone. if i got a hammer and hit it, it wouldn't break. papa came out crying then embraced anio in a hug. he was saying how much he loved anio, that anio was a good kid and anio prolly wasnt doing all the bad things his friends does. that he trusts anio and if he was to move out, papa will miss him just as papa missed ate when she moved out. anio was crying and apologizing and papa told him not to apologise. i felt sorry for my dad, he was getting himself into deep distress, have his children move out all because his wife was a total stubborn bitch. i told him twice that:

i love you papa but i hate mum.

mum had her straight face on and shrugged it off like she didnt care. i told her me and anio will move out and that she and papa can be alone in that big empty house. she said she didnt care. ate, papa, and anio embraced each other in a hug and cried. it was a pretty sad sight. i was on the couch trying to calm down on this computer. i noticed no one was hugging mum. 'no one's hugging you mum because no one loves you.' ' i dont care' this fight was going for too long. mum saracastically says shes sorry, that everything is her fault. that its always the parents to blame. she brought up how hard she worked to bring us up as little kids, she was taking offence to her parenting - but it was only the negativity that we were angry about. mum doesnt understand. she says shes sorry, i told her that she wasnt. 'what are u sorry about?' "i dont know" 'how do u think it makes me feel when you call me 'abnormal'? mum shrugs her shoudlers again. I HATE IT how she doesnt even know what shes doing wrong. 'dont shrug ur shoulders answer him!" the fight came to an end. the last thing i said to mum was 'piss off mum! go home, have a cry and think about what you did' im pretty happy we had that fight. ate kept telling me to calm down while i was fighting but i told her we'll never get this chance again. and im probably right. if she doesnt admit shes wrong then at least she knows what we hate her. the only victim here is papa. poor papa. A few hours later i went home with ate and packed three bags of my shit. uni shit, clothes, toiletries and makeup. im staying at ates house in the meantime. i would love to move out here but im unconvinced that ate wants me here for good. ive always had a feeling she likes living alone. i hope i can stay for a while until i can get enough money to living inner city. tom says: 'come party with the cool kids' how i aspire to party with the cool kids :)