This trip is proving to be one of family discovery. This is the fourth time I've been to Bacolod but only now do I realise how much culture and family history shapes the person I am. I am so proudly Australian, I thought I could connect with my Australian side more than I can with my filippino side but it may be the other way around. There are many things I do that are the cause/influence of the filippino way.
The Tan family has a rich history and there are so many stories to tell. We were once very rich, then very poor, grandpa loved and left grandma with 8 children to fend for herself, he would come and go as he pleased, sometimes 5 years. He would marry other women in different cities and make some more children. He would spend his money on his other families, gamble, travel and grandma had to make it on her own.
Lolo wanted to marry lola but she said 'I wont marry you if you're not a catholic'. Lolo converted into a christian and said 'is there anything else you want??'. Lola said 'I wont marry you unless you are a filippino citizen'. Lolo was a chinese citizen before he applied for a filippino citizen.
Just before lolo died, he came back to Bacolod, he wasnt the emotional type but he hugged lola and said 'You are the one that I really love'. He flew to Hong Kong where he died.
Lolo loved to travel but when he became old and poor he asked Tita Grace for money to travel to Hong Kong. Tita Grace said no, he was too old to travel. So he went anyway and booked a cheap hotel with the little money he had. He stayed on the 23rd level. On the day he experienced a heart attack, the lifts didn't work. The ambulance couldn't reach him in time.
Lolo's chinese families and mum's family had to fight for the possession of his body. They wanted him to be buried on HK but the Tan's wanted him here. Tito Boy had to fly to HK to fight. Lolo was eventually flown to philippines and buried in a chinese cemetary next to his best friend. The reason why he was brought back is because he was a filippino citizen. Lolo's body was dressed in traditional red chinese dress, with a hat and a braided tail. He was surrounded with paper money and family photographs. I remember seeing photos of this as a child. Its pretty freaky.
There were many ghost stories after lolo had died. Coming from a chinese background, everyone was superstitious and believed he visited many times. Lights will turn off. A black cat will come to the house and sleep under lola's bed. Tita Grace will talk to the cat and tell lolo that he has to go, he doesnt belong here. Lola will say lolo had come during the night and hugged her while she slept. Our Australian house smelt of burning in the kitchen.
Before lola died, mum asked her where should would like to be buried. Would you like to be buried in the chinese cemetary next to lolo? She was so adamant that no! she doesnt not want to be buried next to lolo, she is not a chinese! So she was buried in another cemetary near Punta Tay Tay, where we had breakfast yesterday. Her lot cost 3,000 pesos while lolo's grand white marble grave cost 47,000 peso. I guess lola was a proud filippina who stayed that way til death.
Abandoned haunted house of grandpa and grandma
This is the house my mum and her 7 siblings grew up
Full of beautiful hard wood and antique furniture including mum's
piano she saved up for as a child. I want it.
The way mum talks about lolo, she seems to resent him. She said she was the only one who didnt cry at his funeral.
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