Haven't had to wait for it like this in a while. It's been more than one week that I've wanted it so bad. Today I put my hand up and said something about it. Ugh the chase, the hunt, I hate it and I love it. The fact that it is wrong and the possibility that I might not even get it keeps me wanting it more. Also adding to the suspense is that I won't know the time comes til last minute and even then it may change. And when I get it, I don't know if I'll ever get it again.
Treating every time like it is the last.
I don't care if its right or wrong. I don't care what's best for me anymore. I just want what I want. The smallest indication of what I want is near, fuel adds to my fire. I'm scheming. I'll do whatever I can. One track mind. And if shit hits the fan I'll deal with it later.
At least my heart can rest.
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