It still hurts but it will never show because I'm too proud. I'm not bothered. People fuck up, people piss me off, I grind my teeth in anger and my eyes shoot heated arrows of hatred. I want people to die when shit hits the fan. When sadness strikes, I loose sleep and almost get into car accidents from being deep in thought. I can feel my heart break. Oh god, why?? Hurt. To relieve the pain I dig my nails into the palms of my hands, face and arms so I can feel 'real' pain. Pussy. I'm stronger than that. My mind runs on a hamster wheel trying to fix the way I feel. I want to feel better NOW. The door of my bubble is open and so welcoming. Hello. I step inside.
This too will pass
At the time, the experience seems overwhelming to say the least and things get thrown out of proportion. Although, its never as bad as it seems looking back. After a short while, I can shrug my shoulders, chin up, foxtrot on. Look forward and walk towards the sunshine. If I do the shadows will fall behind me.
You do you and I'll do me
Now run along and do your little life
Shit falls into place the end and if it doesn't I'll get over it. I'll get over it as quickly as I dived into the deep end completely aware of the fact that I do not know how to swim. Haha! How the FUCK did I think I was gonna save myself in a situation like that??? I'm so impulsive and stupid sometimes.
:)
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