Lotus Flower

Ves felt bad for cancelling my shift tmrw but I really didn't care. I'm glad I've got another day off. I feel a tad guilty that I don't have work tmrw since I'm used to sleeping early so I can wake early for work. I had a four hour nana nap from four to eight pm and that just hit the spot. I did wake up tripping out thinking it was the next day and 'I need to be at work!! Why didn't my alarm go off??' It was seven o'clock. I get my days confused when I wake twice in one day. I went to phuongs for Xmas dinner. She had made everything but calamari and chips from scratch! Impressive. My tummy has shrunk in size so I got full on the chips. I'm ashamed to say I cannot eat as much as I'm used to. After, Dave picked me up and we went to helens to watch the inbetweeners. Not that good. British film with a little American humour. Meh. It's okay. Went home listening to my favourite song atm, Lotus Flower by Wale and Miguel. Head back so I can see the stars moving through the sun room. There's something alluring about night lights. Especially now being holiday season the toads are empty. Sort of eerie, mysterious. I like. Tmrw I've gotta get shit ready for my holidays. Packing, buying little compact things, going to mums to steal shit I need. Writing a list of things I wanna buy in phils: Bikini Scar cream Wooden tribal jewellery/Homewares Gold watch undies Socks Dresses Food Ear and nose jewellery I was so determined to get a tattoo but now I'm not so sure anymore. I won't get one if I'm not set on it for at least one month. My body it too precious for impulsive permanent things that could mean a life time of regret. Five days til I leave. This is really happening. This shit was booked in July and its already time! How this year flew. I have this anxious feeling 24/7 bc I know I'm leaving soon. I feel excited, a bit nervous, a bit scared. I don't know why. Probably bc I don't know what I'm in for. I'm going away!! Somewhere where there is unpredictablity,unfamiliarity and potential danger. I just hope I dont get kidnapped and raped. I'm also anticipating the person ill be when I come back. Your always at least a little different coming back from holiday. You are positive, productive and curious of life you wanna try new things and meet new people. When mum came back from America, she was happier and more tolerant of us. I think ill go salvos burnside tmrw. Except I'd rather not be alone.